As she greeted and chatted with friends the room momentarily brightened as the light refracted with the opening of the glass door. She looked up and paused, mid-sentence, shock melting her easy smile.

She should have known he would come to support others. But she had thought she was safe. His attendance was not something she had remotely considered as alternative circumstances deemed it highly unlikely. In retrospect she should not have been so careless.

She compelled herself to resume her conversation, which she concluded with slight difficulty, as she surreptitiously watched him settle into a chair. She politely retreated, silently damning herself for her stupidity. There was nothing she could do at this point but that which she was hired. She would remain professional; stifling every muscle which urged her to flee.

The afternoon commenced as scheduled, though she tripped a bit on her opening speech. Simple words were hindered by the flood gate of emotion. She settled in the back and vainly attempted to concentrate on the scenes. She forced her focus to the piece of beige paper attached to the clipboard in front of her. She traced her finger over the swirling logo. Her fingers ached to twirl the tufts of his hair; to trail down his face, caress his cheek. She yearned to smile up at him, to warmly meet his eyes with her truth.

A cue word snapped her out of her imagination. Shame instantly colored her face as realization dawned on the path of her subconscious. The room gently spun as her hearing deafened. She gripped the stand for precious balance, and wholly concentrated on the pattern of her breathing. She was in tentative command by the segue.

Returning to her mark she chastised herself for her mental mirage. Resolve borne of timed weekly dialogue seemed to have dissipated. She struggled, and she was always struggling where he was concerned, to regain stasis. She channeled all her cerebral energy into a review of her program notes. Her organization had instilled confidence in the others and the same was inspiring her calmness now. Normal breathing was no longer a chore.

During the reception she occupied her hands, which kept her thoughts corralled. Finally, the array thinned. She did not have to seek; she sensed his absence.

Invitations were offered and gently declined. Walking to her car, professionalism disintegrated into attempered tears. She would rebuild fortitude tomorrow.