Are They Serious?

So, yesterday morning I get a call from Mallorie's assistant principal. She advises that Mallorie is scheduled for ISS on Friday due to a violation of the school board's PDA policy. My brain immediately starts to smoke with visuals of Mallorie's transgression. I mean, it's got to be really bad to result in in-school suspension. I tentatively ask what Mallorie did to violate the policy. I'm not too sure I want to know.

"She was standing beside another student, and they had their arms wrapped around each other for an extended period of time."

Crickets start chirping as I attempt to reconcile my R-rated fears to her matter-of-fact response. I stifle the sudden urge to laugh.

"Were they kissing, swapping tongues or touching each others' butts?" I ask. ISS is serious; there's got to be more.

"No. They were hugging for an extended period of time."

Am I being PUNK'D? "So what constitutes an 'extended period of time'?" I ask.

"Longer than a normal hug."

Before I have time to ask for the school's definition of "normal", she goes on to tell me that because Mallorie had been previously warned for PDA violations, verbally and with a written warning in October, ISS was the next step. Apparently the previous PDA violations were for the same exact thing. Hugging.

I go from agog to irritation in .2 seconds flat. What? She received a written warning in October? Why wasn't I advised?

The AP begins peddling her bike backwards. "Well, if I didn't call you...."

"There's no if. " I interrupt, "You most certainly did not call me."

Because she cannot handle disputes or reverse peddling, she immediately asks if I want to speak with Mallorie. Upon negating that offer, she then suggests I speak with another assistant principal - the one who has actually witnessed Mallorie's violations of the PDA policy. After pleasantly greeting me, he explains he saw Mallorie and another student standing face to face (hmmm, the other AP said beside) with their arms wrapped around each other. To clarify the apparent severity of Mallorie's violation he parrots "for an extended period of time". I ask him why I didn't receive a copy of his written warning. He has no clear response. I ask for details regarding the verbal warning. Of course, because verbal warnings are not recorded, he cannot recall. It is at this point that the conversation begins a downward spiral.

I ask if the other student that Mallorie is hugging is female. He confirms. I ask if Mallorie's supposed PDA violation has been reported by anyone other than him. He states clearly that he takes offense to my question. When I repeat it, I hear him typing and he confirms he's been the sole witness.

I recall a past conversation; one in which Mallorie expressed discriminatory concern. It now seems she was right to be concerned. I am no longer irritated, I am flat out pissed. I demand he mail me copies of any and all high school records that contain Mallorie's name. He tersely confirms my address and I end the call.

I immediately email Ken who immediately emails the ACLU.